I'm watching last night's New Hampshire debates. Currently at the end of the democrats' section. Probably should have just skipped the republicans altogether. :) Oh I do love Barack.

Um. I made some icons. Twelve. Random female celebs. Only because of how utterly bored I have been. I'm going to put them up here. Okay yes I know this is all evident. Credit me and let me know if you're taking any, please and thanks! Though it seems doubtful that you will actually like any of these.

01. 02. 03.
( and the rest )

If her heartbeat slowed she could live forever.

I've been encouraged to start writing in this once more. Of late I've been using a more conventional journaling style, which I suppose is more of a risk since I lost it and thought mom had confiscated it! Crisis over, but to stay on the safe side...

Odd that I don't have anything to say at the moment. Today is the dress rehearsal for the dance recital. We the "alumni" are putting on a wonderful (ha) show. I'd rather just stay at home being lazy, much as I've done since my dramatic car accident last month.

Um. I'll continue this later, let's hope?

Do you ever have that feeling when you're driving that you shouldn't stop, you shouldn't go home, you should just keep driving? Yeah, I just had that. The windows were down and the air felt so nice, so I kept winding through back roads until the feeling was gone. Until I had worked through the tangled web of thoughts that have been bothering me for a few days. Now that I've done so, I think I feel worse. I think I've dug a deeper hole. I need to take the car again.

Oh, and I did get paid. And spent all of it plus today at the mall. Five more CDs (that makes over twenty in three weeks), two sweaters, and two dresses. You should see this dress. Really. Perhaps I'll take a photograph. And I want audioscrobbler back.

[EDIT] Stealing this from my Twin as I am bored now: Comment and I'll give you a random mp3.

I gave in and got an audioscrobbler, it's screenlanguage. That's me, always trying to be like the cool kids. Add me if you have one, and comment saying you've done so! It's probably very embarrassing, I've been uber-emo of late. Oh, what the hell. I'll be proud of my music. YAY EMO.

I've been painting at my dance instructor's new house all day, and am covered in primer. I seriously hope I'm getting paid for this.

( I am: )

I die three years from today on Route 711.

happy birthday, self

Umm, so I'm back from New York City... We pretty much got kicked out of our hotel, lol. The offer was this exclusive thing with my timeshare, $199 for three days/two nights at the Hilton, valet parking, 80 Hilton dollars... and my mom booked it for herself and my dad. But, the catch was they had to tour a condo thing. When she went this morning to tour it, and claimed that my dad was "in a business meeting," they were like, okay, you have to pay for this stay then. $300 a night plus all of the amenities such as parking and TV stuff. We were like, wtf mate? voiced our outrage for a bit, then checked out and walked around NYC for a bit until leaving.

But the trip wasn't that awful. I spent all of my money at Virgin Records. Went to the top of the Empire State Building, went to the Natural History Museum and Rose Center... That's all though. We should have spent considerably more time in the city, but then all that shit happened and we just wanted to get home. It was very hot and we were very angry. That is all.

Leaving for New York City. orbatid is coming with me. :D Life seems to be good.

So, Alfred was wonderful. I had a great time, and learned so much. Played with ginormous telescopes and was taught incredibly advanced astrophysics. Got home on Thursday, and since then, life seems to have been progressing the way it used to progress. Perhaps I still have some worth. Every time I stop to think about what occurred one month ago, I die a little bit all over again, but certain events and people are renewing my hope that one day I will be okay. Maybe that day will be sooner than I expect.

I'm going to be in NYC from Monday until Wednesday. Somehow, we are staying at the Hilton in Rockefeller. Amazing, no? This trip would be infinitely more enjoyable if I was permitted to bring along a friend, but still. I haven't been to New York City in years. I'm hoping to see either Rent, Wicked, or Spamalot. Also looking forward to super-shopping with my aunt. :D

Oh. I turn seventeen in a week.

I got my book back at around 6 pm, and finished it last night at... well it was way before midnight -- perhaps 10? -- because I got loads of sleep. Took me ten hours of reading time, give or take, which is a bit slow, but consider all of the interruptions I had throughout the day. Not even going to bother making a spoiling post. Just go read someone else's, because what I have to say is probably quite similar.

I'm off in about an hour. I know you lot will [not] miss me.

Okay, my mom took my book away so I finish packing and cleaning for tomorrow. I'm pissed. I'm almost fucking finished! *flips out*

Half-Blood Prince: acquired. I'll be reading all day tomorrow. That is, when I'm not attempting to see Kelly / talking to Jay / having band practice / packing for my Astronomy Institute at Alfred University. I leave for that on Sunday... Last summer's band has reunited -- minus Matty -- and we played at Jessica's graduation party. It was okay. Actually it was great. We'd been practicing all week, fun stuff. Umm, what else. I had a tooth drilled and filled on Tuesday, got super-high off of nitrous oxide. Bought a $300 of clothing on Saturday. Got a spanking-new haircut.

Today would have been my eight month anniversary. I'm quite glad that I only realized it now. 'Sfunny how I am of the delusion that 8 is my lucky number. There is a ton of evidence to the contrary, but still I am convinced that it's actually a charm.

EDIT: Okay, I can't read anything on-line until I finish this book because already, even on my friends list, spoilers have been posted. GAH. Good thing I can do it in less than twenty-four hours.

I want to thank azuredflame for transferring her paid account to me. *loves* So, yay, paid account until... almost my birthday. Much appreciated. Just announcing that I am leaving for Space Camp, like, now. I may or may not have access to LJ, as I may or may not have free time in any of the labs. See you guys in a little over a week.

i was okay this evening, but now we're back to the 'hurts so bad ya can't breathe' place again

An article I received in an e-mail today from the Florida Institute of Technology (a school that wants my body, badly):

( Florida Tech Receives $430,000 from NASA for Lunar Oxygen Project )

I'm not a dork. This doesn't make me infinitely happy. Cambridge's head of Materials Science. Eeeee! I really wish FIT had MatSE. Alas.

The beginning of this entry is pretty much for myself. Don't be too concerned with it.

However: last week, I picked up an application to work at Barnes & Noble. At first, it was simply because my mother inquired at the Customer Service desk how old one had to be to work at the store. Apparently, sixteen. So the nice man gave me an application. I didn't think we'd end up actually filling out the application. While it has been my dream to work in a bookstore for ages, I'm inexperienced, young, etc. But, it seems that once I hear back from my eleventh grade English teacher (needed her address and phone number for a personal reference), I will be returning the form. We even got the work permit from school today. I'm nervous / excited / scared. Everyone keeps saying, "The worst they'll say is 'no,' or, 'come back when you're eighteen.'" So we'll see.

Also had a dentist appointment today. While my teeth have improved a lot (I hardly have any enamel on my teeth, it's a genetic thing) and Marti says my gums look great and flossing has helped, I have a baby cavity on my top left eye tooth. Sigh. So I'm getting that fixed some time in July.

After Space Camp! For which I depart this Saturday. So, more excitement. That's all.

Stole this from lehane @ GJ. Yes this is a cross-post. Because I have no life.

( three things )

ICONS! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Sarah Michelle Gellar, Natalie Portman, Roswell, Harry Potter, Amy Acker, London... Thirteen in all. Comment and give credit if you are taking.

-TEASER-
04. 09.
( the dust has only just begun to fall )

Just had a faux band practice with Jason and Hilary during which we recalled the old songs, fixed / added some parts on keyboard / guitar. The jam session was redolent of our fond, last summer. It was full of simplicity, Echo Down. I miss the singing and the keyboard, Nathan's shady sarcasm, Shawn's "hello?" and Hilary our mother. I miss a lot of things, and have just come to realize that I'm slipping and need something to grasp. I think I just want him here, I need my baby...

home is where the heart breaks
teach me how your love fakes
serve me just one more lie
and tell me 'I love you' again

my path lies before me
my forte left behind
feed me my last request
and tell me 'I love you' again...
"lead me home" by Echo Down